Weekend Agenda

It was so boring day. I don’t know how to describe it as this day was tremendously gloomy. My morning session was started by accompany my mom in law breakfast. Then get ready to walk off to wet market. In my mind, my today’s carte du jour will be nothing. I would say I don’t want to get busy with the cooking stuff as no body will come to my dwelling today, and of course my husband was not around. My intention to cook was not exciting anymore. Usually, my husband was the one who will taste my cuisine, he will tell me whether my cook good or just ok. As usual, the comment was pleasant to ignore. However, my elder son wanted something special from his mom. Then that is why the ‘bihun soto’ came across my mind while having my breakfast just now. I rushed my car heading to pasar. Luckily still have the chicken for my soup; I bought 1kg potatoes for making ‘begedil’, chilies for the ‘sos’. That is it. My maid prepare all the stuff, washed the chicken, and veggie. At 11am, I started my cooking. Almost 1230, everything ready. At that moment, adik and abang playing pool outside the house. We had our bihun soto at our backyard. Bibi took out the mat, place it on the floor, brought all the food outside, everybody sit, and we started to eat. Thanks God, there was no rain. Adik and abang enjoy their meal very much! I was very glad to see them very happy having their lunch. So we were like having a picnic!!! Ok lah tu kan!!... I don’t have a camera to picture everything we had today. Perhaps I need to buy the cheep ones. I told my husband about my intention, but he said NO.

After that, adik went to sleep but abg remain watching ‘ultraman’. I have no idea why all the kids (perhaps) like to watch this cartoon. My sons keep repeating the same cd all day long. Moreover, the worst part now, the movie is in the astroceria. I cannot event watch any dramas or news. Every time my mood to watch my tv was disturb by head banging, or crying, or quarrel to get the tv remote. This cartoon so much influences my kid on how they behave. Sooo scary! What need to do? The words like “tak guna’,’bodoh’, ‘baik kapten’, ‘bersedia untuk berlepas’ always become their daily use. Acting like their superhero is a must everyday. At times, adik will become a “raksaksa’ and abg is “ultraman”and vice versa. No wonder they keep saying what they hear in the movies! I tried to stop the tv and channeled to a different cartoons, but still the keen is there (their HEROES). ULTRAMAN, who‘s in this universe has created you until all kids (especially boys) like to watch you!!! After years watching this film, I manage to learn by heart all the characters. Starting from Ultraman’s father (Taro), his mothers (Tari kot.. hehehe) and his siblings (Tiga, Nervius, Seven, Ultra), perhaps a lot more to come in the future. I don’t know when will they die!

Just a reminder.....

My time is so precious. At time, I feel that the clock needle moving so fast as I am afraid that I could not finished my work on time. So many things have to do before the departure to the UK. I must say I have to do it all by my own. Please! Anybody can help me. Starting from moving out of the quarters, visas kid and maid, selling all the goods, car and everything. Office workloads almost up the sky! A bit tired drenched in this environment alone!! Sometimes, complaining of everything almost in me every single day. I don’t know the habit grew so fast. Fear if people around me boring or take me for granted. Ehmmm…this is small challenge for me, (I guess). There is a lot of people out there having more hassle than me right!! But they can survive and still hope for the Almighty God to help them. Trust in God is essential. His attributes are beyond our imaginations. He is capable of everything and anything. I hope my mind is focused on that. Dear, please don’t blame the situation as that will help you to become mature in running the life accordingly.

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I think it is very tough to be a first-class “muslimah” if certain criteria are not being in me. What are those criteria?

Foremost, accept that God Almighty exist, He will help us at any conditions. It depends on how quickly or slow He lends a hand. But don’t miserable, please be patience.

Secondly, I should say is pray sincerely. ‘aku sembahyang arini lillahi taala ka atau tangkap muat je?” seriously say that sometimes we try to drag our feet to the last minute of pray. Why? This question must be answered. In our heart, there is no affirmation that God always close to us. For me we have lack of feeling of seeing somebody who loves us most! Why? We don’t love HIM as much as HE love you!! That is the reason why we always delay on doing our duty. Never do things that will only prevent us to do things that are much more important. Nothing is much more important than obeying what God asks from us. Stop anything you are doing. If somebody were to ask you where you are heading, say that you are answering God's call to prayer.

Thirdly, pray in the middle of the night. This, I could say very tough one. Thanks to Him if He choose me to do it constantly. It is very hard to wake up early in the morning. I don’t know why… I can’t make it as a routine. If say, I had a problem then the tendency to do it incline drastically. I feel that I’m not sincere enough to gain someone help me!! When I reflect of my attitude, I feel so sad.

Fourthly, recite His name as often as possible. Zikrh, reciting His name will ultimately make me a strong Muslim because we are constantly reminded of what good He has done for us.

What are next? Be grateful for everything I have. I’m very happy to have a wonderful husband, two adorable kids, and insyallah to succeed in doing my specialist training. The more thankful we are the more we will realize how much we have been blessed. In addition, by doing this, God willing, we will be stronger because we will believe that God is present.

Fast for the right reasons. Neither because you want to impress others, nor because you want to feel superior in terms of popularity when you get fitter later. Fast with the intention to please only Allah, and to get the reward for fasting. Also fast because you will be able to perform solat correctly and also because you want to be responsible over your health. Nevertheless fast because of remembering those who do not have privileges like food and water. I urge myself to fast at least twice a week, preferably on Mondays and Thursdays.

Never lie. It should be emphasized again that God hates his adherents to lie to others. My integrity will directly have an impact towards my dignity. People will look high upon me if I am honest and true to whatever I say.

Struggle towards goodwill. Sacrifice my time and visit the mosque if there is a lecture. Forfeit my property to those who needs it more than I do. In other words, always give charity. The recipient will be thankful that you have given them aid in their daily life. Remember, the one who gives is better than one who receives.

Be gracious towards my parents. They have worked hard to bring home food. My mother has suffered all the pain just to bring me to this world. What have I done to say thanks to them? They have brought joy to my life by buying anything every now and then. Have I acknowledged that and appreciated them? Do whatever they expect of me and I will be fine.

Never sough over my loved one's death. Know that God did that because He loves my loved ones even more than I do. Accept that death is a resting phase for my loved ones against all the trouble this world can bring about.

Never waste my Time on useless things. The wasters will be the brother of evil. At day of judgment, some items/properties are going to talk for the reason I wasted/damaged the properties. Wisely use my time!!

Read the Qur'an/Hadith Regularly. It will keep my iman stronger. It will keep my soul pure. Hope I’ll get ‘barakah’ for every letter I read.

Happy 6th Anniversary

24 of May marked my 6^th anniversary of wedding. We started as just a friend 10 years back. The friendship went on and off. At one year, we just silence, nobody between us dare to say hello at one time. The journey we went through was so fluctuated, no hope I could say with that relationship. However, year of 2000 the love story was on track again. A letter from him, make my reflection on him changed drastically. I didn’t know that he still work very hard to win my heart. At that time, he just finished his master at UTM, and I was in my final year. From there on, our love flourish until now and hope to be stronger ever after.

Ayang,

Thanks you for being such a wonderful person to me. Sometimes, it ‘s hard to put my feelings into words, but I want you to know that hardly a moment goes by, that I’m not thinking about you, wondering what you are doing, wishing I could be with you, and counting the hours until we are together again. Now and again, when I’m with you, I don’t let you know how special you are, and how your love means more to me than anything else in my life. I may not always tell you, but I want you to know I love you much more than words can say. Happy 6^th Anniversary to you. Enjoy your stay in the UK. Take a very good care of yourself.

p/s: if I had three wishes, I’d wish that you were here, or that we(me & kiddo) were there or that we (me & you) were both someplace else together!.(missing you so much)

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Reasons Why

Our love is the long lasting kind;
We’ve been together quite awhile.
I love you for so many things,
Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your smile.

You accept me as I am;
I can relax and just be me.
Even when my quirks come out,
You think they’re cute; you let me be.With you, there’s nothing to resist;
You’re irresistible to me.

I’m drawn to you in total trust;
I give myself to you willingly.Your sweet devotion never fails;
You view me with a patient heart.
You love me, dear, no matter what.
You’ve been that way right from the start.

Those are just a few reasons why
I’ll always love you like I do.
We’ll have a lifetime full of love,
And it will happen because of you.

Kem BTN Ulu Sepri

Saya sudah kembali dari BTN di Ulu Sepri. Rasanya sedih sungguh bila hari terakhir berada di situ. Sedih kerana tidak tahu bila lagi akan berjumpa rakan-rakan semua yg insyallah akan bertebaran serata dunia menuntut ilmu.Sedih juga kerana selama ini banyak benda berkaitan negara yang dipandang sepi dan tidak ambil peduli. Saya rasa masyarakat sekarang terutama generasi muda amat tipis nilai patriotismenya. Kenapa ya? Persoalan yang mesti dijawab oleh kita dan semua orang di Malaysia ini. Pada saya tidak salah kalau kita sangat bersifat patriotik. Kita terutama orang melayu hanya mempunyai satu sahaja negara iaitu Malaysia. Kalau negara kita berada di dalam tidak stabil, bagaimana kehidupan kita nanti. Adakah negara lain mahukan kita sebagai rakyatnya? Tidak kan!!! Sepanjang saya berada di Kem BTN, banyak benda yang saya pelajari. Saya rasa terharu kerana selama mengenali subjek sejarah malaysia, tidak seorang pun yang mampu memberi penerangan yang jelas berkaitan negara kita dan susur galurnya. Terima kasih kepada Tn Hj Ali dan Tn Hj Abdul Rashid. Keep up a good work!!!...

Selama satu minggu di Kem Ulu Sepri, banyak aktiviti lah yang saya sertai... antara yang paling best ‘flying fox’. Saya tidak pernah mencuba. Ini pengalaman saya yang pertama. Menarik dan pada saya boleh membina keyakinan diri. Dua hari terakhir, semua peserta dikejutkan dengan ketiadaan bekalan air dan elektrik. Berpanas jugak lah kami semasa sesi LDK. Ada yang sambil berhujah sambil mengipas2 badan. Macam2 kerenah peserta dapat dilihat. Peserta lelaki ambil peluang mandi sungai. Kami peserta wanita agak malu jugaklah nak mandi macam peserta lelaki. Jadi apa taknya, banyak antara kami yang tidak mandi pagi. Mujurlah hari terakhir tidak jadi berkembara di hutan, kalau tak hampir berselut kami!!! Sesi terakhir, semua berkumpul di dewan. Ketua fasilitator mengucapkan tahniah kepada semua kerana berjaya habiskan kursus ini. Sebelum semua berangkat pulang, saya sempat bersalaman dengan semua peserta. Ada yang menangis, ada yang gembira.....diharapkan semua akan berjaya membawa pulang master dan phd masing2. sama-samalah kita memajukan negara kita dengan ilmu yang kita miliki nanti. Amin!

P/s: utk peserta kumpulan 9(rafidah, radin, shah,qib,diana,hafizan,dr azlin,nadzri, arifah,syam&zurina) please keep n touch yaa!!!

Mak's Birthday

So Mother's day is here again! Happy Mother’s Day.

11 May every year, we are celebrating a day for every mother in the world. 11 May always remembered me of my mom. She turns into 58 this year. Although the “58” stuff still not make her too old…she still happy with her daily routine at her home. Her wonderful cooking will not make us away from her kitchen.. as me and my sister always here and there run to taste her delicious menu. Yesterday, we had “makan-makan” at my sis house. We decided not to let her cooked for us. She can have a rest until the lunch ready. My sis did “ gulai ikan seludu+ sambal belacan mangga +sayur manis buah betik+ bakar ikan + ulaman“ . So sedap sampai menjilat cari. At the same time, we bought a cake to celebrate mother’s day plus her birthday!.. She was so blissful as all her family around her to rejoice the yearly occasion together except my father. My father had passed away in 2002. .. So long, time ago… but still he is always in our mind for every single of day.

My mom’s hobby? She is very skillful in putting or arranging the flower in a good manner. (Think about myheartbleeds …expert in flowery stuff too!)She also very expert in “hantaran stuff” I can’t imagine she can manage to have sort out many ‘tempahan hantaran’ especially during school holidays. Although, she has no workers to help her to do the deco, still she can put it to death by her own. I think my mom is much-disciplined person. If she said, she wanted something she will get it by any means. Every so often when I ‘m free I used to help her in arranging the flower on the ‘hantaran’. So I could dig up the skill from her too!!. Free of charged!! That‘s would be so ok.

As a government pensioner, her customer always from her old friends, at times the customer just knew my mom from the previous people who deal with her regularly. How is the price? Usually my mom rarely put the price so high. This is not the business of her getting on to but this is only the hobby that always boosts her free time at home.

Any diseases she has. Let me put this way. In 2006, she was diagnosed with ‘Chronic Renal Failure”. She was so depressed at that time, cried almost all the instance, and afraid of the future she gone through. I was helpless (and clueless, I must admit). (The main thing that crossed my mind then was that I knew I should have taken medicine and be a doctor - only then I may offer her something. Too late!!). She was admitted to hospital due to the need of urgent dialysis. Started with peritoneal dialysis, and now with three days hemodialysis per week, she has recovered so much. Her self-esteem shoot up again, she will not give up facing the life without any harm. I am glad to see her getting back on her tracks. Pleased to see her energetic, motivated, and cheerful.

Oopss.. don’t make me angry?... mak always say like that when I did something wrong. I am very soft heart. If mak said something… I always ‘terasa’. I don’t know why. Sooo suffer!! Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to talk to her for couple of days… but still can’t. The next days then I called her and pleaded for forgiveness. As a daughter, I want to give the best for my mom. I don’t know what the best to give her: my loves, cares, happiness, valued stuff (hand bag, clothes) or perhaps money!!... I don’t think the last one will value something. Mak will never ask for my money actually….in contrast she still gives us money esp masa baru dua tiga bulan kerja…atau tersepit . Dah besar panjang pun still hope for mak to help you!! So sad kan!!...Nak buat macam mana, mak still our advisor in everything… starting from cari menantu till nak buat rumah… still request mak blessing!! One thing that I always asked mak is my house design… still in the process to have approval and the acceptable ones!! Fussy mom!! But I am glad to have her as my mom… knowledgeable, skillful, generous, and loving mom!!... Mak happy birthday and also happy mother's day… we love you so much!!!!

Mak, this is for u!

You've
always been
a wonderful
mother -
and the older
I get,
the more
I've grown to
appreciate you
as a
great friend too...



When you share
your experiences,
feelings,
and insights on life
with me,
I realize how lucky
I am to have
such a wise,
caring mother.
And I feel
something else
that's very special
between us...

...the deep understanding
that links women heart to heart,
that lets us laugh and cry together,
that leads us to listen
and learn from
and count on each other.
Because you're my mother
and my friend,
because you give so freely,
because we share so much -
I love you, Mom.

Happy Mother's Day

p/s: A mother never cease being a mother even when the children are old and gray. I don’t know what would happened if mak was not here anymore! Thanks to Him that I still have mak!..Again I love you.

Just Wonder : MSc vs MClinDent

My Friday is always full with a "crown patient". I will finish two crowns per week and send them to private dental lab in Penang. Actually I would love to try sending my impressions to Petaling Jaya Dental Lab, so that i get to know which lab can give me a good quality of PFM crown. But till now I still stick on to this,the only one dental lab....Why? Maybe because of the quality, cheap, fast!! Foremost I knew the technician there! That will be easier for me...I more interested in cosmetic dentistry or restorative type compare to other field such as oral surgery, perio, paed, or ortho. I like to see my patient happy with their look... I'm not kind of person that can wait to see the outcome. When you involve in ortho for example, the duration of time to see the results would be 1-2 years... you see... so longg... I can't wait actually!... so that's why I think for my Master degree... I would prefer to enroll for MSc Restorative or MClinDent Prostodontic. Actually, I went for "Hadiah Latihan Persekutuan " interview. I just put MClint Dent Perio!!... I don't know why? May be at that time.... I just don't know my interest would be!Once I got the scholar.. then i realize I have to change the course. Luckily the University that approve my application still have vacancy ...Alhamdullilah...

Ehmm... I not so sure whether MSc in Restorative Dentistry will entitle us as a specialist? Anybody will answer this for me? What the different between MClintDent and MSc? Still make me confuse with this two programs!! I heard those who enroll Msc will not get "elaun kepakaran" Is that true? If so... so sad laa... study so many years and then coming back we are not entitle as specialist. Next week the JPA will have a session with us ( those who will go abroad this september). I am the one plus one of my collegues from perak... and many more... don't know how many of them. I think many questions will arise from us.... After that we will be send to BTN at Ulu Sempri, Negeri Sembilan....Many friends said that place is so "keras" so need to have someting with me...plus... I can't excess the internet ...That's will be my worst part!!... Fuhh... 2 weeks can't call home... even surf internet... mati kutu laaa camtu....
Let think positive la!!!....

THE BUTTERFLY VS FLOWER

Once there was a man who asked ALLAH for

a flower....

....and a butterfly.

But instead ALLAH gave him a cactus....

....and a caterpillar.

The man was sad, he didn’t understand why his request was mistaken.

Then he thought:

Oh well, Allah has too many people to care for...

And decided not to question.

After some time, the man went to check up on his request that he had left forgotten.

To his surprise, from the thorny & ugly cactus a beautiful flower had grown

And the unsightly caterpillar had been transformed into the most beautiful butterfly.

ALLAH always does things right!

His way is ALWAYS the best way,

even if to us it seems all wrong.

If you asked ALLAH for one thing & received another, TRUST.

You can be sure that He will always give you what you need at the appropriate time.

What you want...

....is not always what you need!

ALLAH never fails to grant our petitions, so keep on going for Him without doubting or murmuring.

Today’s THORN...

Is tomorrow’s FLOWER!